Journal

Blueprints

To Rebuild or Not to Rebuild

April 25, 2019

After losing our home in the Tubbs fire in October of 2017, we finally just broke ground on our rebuild a few weeks ago and are scheduled to pour our foundation in about a week – over 18 months later. But back then, we didn’t necessarily know what we were going to do. Should we…

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1906 Earthquake Commemoration - 2018

1906 Earthquake Commemoration and Lyrics to “San Francisco”

April 17, 2019

The Annual 1906 Earthquake Commemoration Every year in the early morning hours of April 18th, a group of people gather at Lotta’s Fountain in San Francisco to commemorate the anniversary of the 1906 earthquake and fires. It’s not a large group – sometimes it seems like the press outnumber the attendees. Folks, many who have…

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Be Bold

How to Recover from Trauma: Tip #4 Be Bold

April 5, 2019

Fighting the Urge to Fade Into the Background When you’ve been through some really hard shit, it’s really really easy to want to put on some camouflage and fade into the background. And by all means, if you are still in survival mode, allow yourself that time. I needed it. A lot of it. I…

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Melissa and Emily

How to Recover from Trauma: Tip #3 Make New Friends

March 14, 2019

When You Leave Your Old Life Behind When you go through a trauma, it creates a rift in your life. For me anyway, there is the life I had before the fire and my son being born, and there is the life I have after. It’s not even like two different chapters, it’s like two…

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Raku pottery

Raku: The Japanese Pottery Style that Speaks Volumes

March 10, 2019

How We Are Like Pottery You don’t have to literally survive a fire or be a super deep thinker to get it. It’s not really a big stretch. Pottery is fragile until it’s been fired. Clay is carefully sculpted with an attentive touch and only holds its shape when it’s put in a kiln at…

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Quiet Lightning

Be Alive, Don’t Just Survive

March 7, 2019

Inspiration can come from anywhere I recently attended Quiet Lightning‘s event Sparkle & Blink 98, a curated submission-based reading of writers and poets in San Francisco. I haven’t been to a reading event in a while, so this was a really great event to attend. I got to meet other writers and get inspired on…

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Nothing left

How to Recover from Trauma: Tip #2 Accept You’re a Victim

March 2, 2019

Bad Things Happen Most of the time there’s nothing we can do about it. When my entire neighborhood was lost in the 2017 Northern California Wildfires, no one saw it coming. I don’t live in the middle of the forest. I’m in a residential neighborhood. That shit just doesn’t happen! I just so happened to…

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Amazon Fresh Donation

How to Recover from Trauma: Tip #1 Learn to Say Yes

February 25, 2019

Amazon Fresh donation from family friends Swallowing Pride I’ve never been good at accepting help. Call it pride, call it stubbornness, but it’s one of my biggest faults. In college, I literally failed courses because I thought that going to my professor to tell him or her that I was struggling meant that I was…

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Tidying Up

Sometimes I want to punch Marie Kondo in the face

February 22, 2019

Tidy This When you’ve lost everything in a fire, you kind of want to punch Marie Kondo in the face. Going through your personal belongings and only keeping what sparks joy? How about when you have to go to Safeway to buy a pair of leggings just so you can have something to wear other…

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Motherhood, PTSD and the Loss of Optimism

May 22, 2018

Strength and perseverance has always come easy to me. I’ve always been a ‘glass half full’ kind of person. To be fair, I haven’t had the hardest life, but I can usually find a very clear path forward whenever the universe decides to make things interesting. The universe lately has had one sick sense of…

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